I'm jealous of your bromance
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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