1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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