I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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