I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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