At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize