peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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