She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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