loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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