Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
