im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
