Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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(859): View more from Kentucky

When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF

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