what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF