Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler

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  (417): oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler http://tfl.nu/3vc3
  Replies (36) Good night (654) Bad night (5048)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula

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  (608): i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula http://tfl.nu/sb2u
  Replies (29) Good night (4372) Bad night (1009)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

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  (214): One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair. http://tfl.nu/h2x0
  Replies (5) Good night (2816) Bad night (1065)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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  (203): She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good. http://tfl.nu/fc7j
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (1370)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

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  (803): I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches. http://tfl.nu/mo6q
  Replies (22) Good night (1780) Bad night (959)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?

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  (856): I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right? http://tfl.nu/8yrh
  Replies (11) Good night (1462) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

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  (814): My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible. http://tfl.nu/fwco
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (1568)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.

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  (913): He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka. http://tfl.nu/wfce
  Replies (5) Good night (1189) Bad night (586)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

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  (847): He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris. http://tfl.nu/t2sy
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (986)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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  (620): Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/x9wv
  Replies (5) Good night (1265) Bad night (510)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing says love like couples STD testing

  (972): View more from Texas

  Nothing says breakup like the results

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  (214): Nothing says love like couples STD testing (972): Nothing says breakup like the results http://tfl.nu/3283
  Replies (7) Good night (1664) Bad night (722)
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  (661): View more from California

  You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.

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  (661): You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint. http://tfl.nu/10tx
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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  (860): Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character. http://tfl.nu/v0k6
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

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  (727): I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair. http://tfl.nu/scdv
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (392)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.

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  (423): He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed. http://tfl.nu/exh7
  Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (208)

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