I'm laying in your front yard are you home
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
