I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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