ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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