I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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