with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize