So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
PANTIES FOUND
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