then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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