We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
