My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
