Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up under a house in Key West
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
