member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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