I wish you could order shots online.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
