i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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