apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
