come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
