just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
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Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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