You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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