they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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