You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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