I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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