everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
