I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
