you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
