last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize