what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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