So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
