This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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