I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just found a bag of teeth...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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