You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize