Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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