I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
