Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
