How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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