i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
