Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
