Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
