Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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