i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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