i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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