My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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