maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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