at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
