My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
