Dual....:-)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
